If peace and love are not allowed to take their rightful place at the table of negotiation, then hatred and anger will produce a conflict that will continue for many years to come. - Mother Teresa
Love. It’s such a complicated word. Complicated because there are so many ways to take the meaning of it into consideration. We are all taught a version of how to love based on what is understood by the one teaching it to us. And it seems to begin with our parents, our siblings— or the people who raise us. We love them, because, as we understand the concept of procreation, we are of the same seed, and egg, and that, in turn, unites us. As we develop our social circle, love evolves into friendships. When we meet potential lifetime partners, and finally our one and only, it evolves yet again. With love, we feel a sense of connection, of being united, like family.
While seasons traipse across time with each rising and setting sun, changes in landscape occur, either by natural erosion, or community development due to population growth; especially as families have migrated to bigger cities and/or countries in search for a better way of living. Over time, beautiful mountain side backdrops are riddled with fences and walls, ultimately disconnecting and secluding us from each other. As we love one another, it is selectively… within boundaries we have placed on ourselves. We grow older, wiser, or so we think— yet the more advanced we are becoming in this society it seems as if our understanding of love stops evolving, because we tend to push love to take a back seat. And one has to wonder - what is this life?
Aside from the air that fills our lungs, and the passage of time, what remains constant is love. And, yet, despite the ages, to love another remains complicated. And this year, the confusion of love is ever more present especially as we witnessed men and women protest social-injustice because unnecessary bullets have taken the lives of innocent human beings. We have listened to hate-filled rhetoric that echoed across radio waves and into our hearts and minds in an attempt to choke out any hope for being a peaceful nation. Yet in a stark contrast, quarantine isolation has made us realize that it’s our loved ones we missed the most — those with whom we feel that connection which overrides everything else… Yes. Love.
In our second blog, Does Love Die? we dove into ways to replenish our heart and soul. Now that our country is hopeful that we can move forward more positively, the three ways we discussed in that blog are relevant, even more so today:
Accept that it’s not about you… until it is
Find it in your heart to forgive
Internalize and Redefine
In our three part series of Love Wins, we have touched on the importance of forgiving and accepting. When you choose to let love win by acceptance and forgiveness, you open the door to healing, not only yourself, but because of love, you empower another person to heal as well. And before we move forward into the final point, Internalize and Redefine, let’s remember a few things.
You can still love someone even after accepting and forgiving them for hurting you
Because of love, you can accept that it’s not about you NOT being worthy, but about learning how to become the best part of you, living a life of peace
If we remember we are all taught differently how to love, perhaps we can release the pain associated to the cut of the ego
If the relationship is over, rather than being angry feel a moment of gratitude for the shared experience, all that was learned, and accept this as a moment in your personal state of becoming
We meet people at the right time for a reason, good or bad. We make a choice to stay, and/or to love. The decision is yours. Accept it and own it!
Sometimes to love someone is to let them follow their own path along their personal journey… even if that means without you
Finding that moment of gratitude, appreciating the moment, allows you to forgive, even without apology
When you forgive, you replenish the source of love; your source
It is our responsibility to be accountable for the words we say. That is love.
Take a moment to internalize your concept of love. Look at every beautiful piece of you, inside and out… what makes you unique; happy; feeling at peace? What does love mean to you, and how does that love show up with others in your life?
As we look back at the last decade of our lives, and the decade before that; and as we take in the key moments during each of those years, what we can attempt to understand is that every single person has made an attempt to make living this life much better. Our parents have worked the long hours, protested to enable equality among all people— not only for better job opportunities, but better working conditions, better healthcare for the impoverished, and minorities, as well as learning opportunities for everyone. This is love.
People before us have shaped laws to enable families to remain closer together… today, there are social media platforms available to maintain a connection with the people we love. By flooding this platform with kind, courteous, and respectful posts, we can change the tone! Over the last year, during the self-isolated stand-still, corporate entities have discovered that working from home is attainable, which means that families can migrate out of big expensive cities, and into more affordable locations across the country we know and love.
That is progress!
It’s progress, because now we get to redefine what is most important to each one of us. It’s important because we can go back to what we were created to do, which is to love one another. As we have been alluding to during the “Love Wins…” series is that our relationships matter. LOVE matters. And as we accept, and forgive, others and ourselves; as we heal; we have the ability to let love evolve.
So now what? Perhaps we can teach our children that loving another means not judging others for their skin color; ethnicity; religious values; or sexual orientation for example. That loving yourself and others means not accepting bad behavior; moreover, hate. And that love is a choice; a choice to be kind, patient, compassionate, considerate, respectful, and open and honest. Perhaps, as we change our approach to living, and to loving one another, we can attain peace. If we can attain peace, then love wins yet again!
Love is a fruit, in season at all times and within the reach of every hand. Anyone may gather it, and no limit is set. — Mother Teresa
Let’s do this! Together, let us redefine love as we currently know it. The new year is rising, like the sunshine of a new dawn around 4 a.m. Before the sun of our new year shines, let us allow love to be the bridge we need to accept, forgive, and heal.
Progress beacons!
Love breeds peace.