It appears the year 2020 has not been the highlight of a new decade. It’s a highlight, no doubt, but the champagne bubbles fizzled and the gold-flakes faded soon after the year began causing it to quickly lose its luster. Worse yet, our nation is not exactly showing its best features. We are watching people protest injustice and other people defend the unjust. Our country has had to accept COVID as a reality and sadly we have lost greater than 187,000 souls. Many of our community members have faced job losses and are now facing a financial setback which may debilitate their ability to support their families. Recently, I read an article in the New York Post where it was reported that, in Queens, NY, Saturday community food lines were a quarter-mile long, servicing nearly 10,000 people, many of which started to wait in line before the sun rose just to avoid missing out on groceries for the week. After doing a little bit of research, I found that growing food lines are becoming more common across our country. This is disturbing.
And, then, as I watch the devastating news of our beautiful State of California burning, I find myself quite emotional. Did you know that California has a GDP large enough to be ranked No. 5 in the world? That is right up there with countries such as the U.K. and France. California also produces 80% of all of the US wine we drink, grows more than 400 agricultural products and is home to two of our largest ports. So when we see California on fire, it should be noted that this can potentially impact the financial health of the entire United States. We should all be concerned that such an important part of our national community is up in smoke.
If you are paying attention, you may also notice, that many people in our local communities are being significantly impacted by COVID, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, loss of job/income, the stress of home schooling, or working from home. Some of these folks may be your family members, or personal friends. Now, more than ever, is the time to reach into our hearts and be mindful about what a person might be experiencing and be mindful of the words we say as we attempt to offer support.
Words matter— a lot. What we say to a person can inspire hope, personal empowerment, or even a feeling of belonging. The words we choose are a reflection of our heart. If there is nothing but love there, our words can be soothing. And during times like these, isn’t that what we all want?
Words based on kindness and love help build communities up. They also build relationships, strengthen bonds and create unity. What’s interesting about community is a lot of people think it all happens outside the home. But really, community creation begins at home, with the people you live with. Recalling a time when I was younger, I remember my father sitting me down and saying: “Rachel, regardless of how highly you value your friends, you will never understand love if you do not hold your sister and brothers in a higher regard.”
Family is perhaps the first and most important piece of your community circle. It is from here that you learn adversity, such as, when you argue with your sibs and/or your parents. Within this circle is where you learn compassion, humility and unity. When you see your sister or brother suffer, you step in, even if just to listen. When they share their most happy moments, you get to revel in celebration with laughter and maybe even tears. If you are a single child, your experience is with your parents. Don’t negate the significance of this important relationship. This foundational level of community helps create a sense of confidence for every single person. It is here that we get to learn to use our words. If your parents were like mine, words like, “stupid,” “idiot,” “dork,” were not acceptable. Because when you use your words, it should be with the intent to help build people up, not tear them down. If we can do this at home, it’ll be that much easier to use empowering words when you are out of the house.
The second level of community creation that is just as important is with people you interact with socially. These are your friends, school mates, work colleagues, friends of friends, even families of friends. This group of people are usually like-minded folks. And have you noticed, how kind we are to people we just met? At first, everyone is cordial, at least until you get to know each other better, then it’s almost like talking to family. Of course, not everyone you meet will be a life-long friend, and they may not even be a friend at all, but the point is, the words we use are certainly a lot more courteous. Why? Because deep down we know the right way to build a relationship is based on kindness. This is where a different level of expectations are set. Here is where we look for people with the same moral fortitude and like-mindedness over how we treat people, as well as, how we allow ourselves to be treated. We look for friends with a positive self-esteem. And when you find a select group of people you want to continue the journey with, it hurts when you lose someone you hold dear to you due to a misunderstanding. The power of words builds relationships and empowers our ability to grow past our limitations. It’s from this level we tend to meet our life-long partner.
The final level of community is the various strangers we meet along the way. In the first two levels, interaction with family, friends and colleagues, is based on established love; a love that builds over time. Yet, when we meet a stranger, a person we may never see again, the way we treat them suddenly reveals who we really are in our heart. This is perhaps the person ahead of you in line who is frustratingly slow in placing their order. Maybe even, the person holding up the line by struggling to find every cent to pay the grocery bill. Do you hold the door open for a stranger or do you let it slam in their face? And what about the person who just screwed up your order? This level is perhaps the most critical, because the way we treat a stranger has a ripple-effect of an impact that could be detrimental down the line. Here it’s not just the words, but the tone we use; the body-language we use; and the overall treatment. How you treat a stranger is a true reflection of your heart.
If we remember we are all human; we are not all taught the same version of love; and at the most basic level, we should be able to treat a stranger the way we would want to be treated, the way we would hope our family members are being treated. We all have a basic understanding of how we want to be treated don’t we? With a stranger, we should be kind without judgement. That is love. And that is what is needed to inspire peace.
While 2020 is nowhere what we expected, I believe this is the year of great empathy. As a global society, we are all experiencing COVID. We are looking in the mirror; trying to understand just what this life is; trying to understand who we are in our heart, in spite of it. And, in the US, we are dissecting our moral compass as we look toward the next election and the future of our great nation. Our words during this time must be used wisely— we should use our words to build each other up for the sake of building and strengthening our communities. Let’s make those words based on love.
Sources:
COVID Cases: https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/
New York Post: https://nypost.com/2020/08/22/hungry-new-yorkers-line-up-around-the-block-for-free-food/
California: https://markets.businessinsider.com/news/stocks/california-economy-16-mind-blowing-facts-2019-4-1028142608#